Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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