I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
