Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
