I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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