how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
