the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
