I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
