I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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