butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we have officially lost it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
