Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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