It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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