4 words: hood of his car
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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