You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My liver just broke up with me...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
