The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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