why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
