these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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