i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
