if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
