but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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