i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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