I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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