the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
