i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
