just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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