we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize