Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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