i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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