That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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