We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
