Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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