If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
