she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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