Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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