so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
