What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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