And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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