On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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