She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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