i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
