there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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