Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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