In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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