Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Randomize
