Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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