Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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