So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
