Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
