I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
