Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
