you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
