i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
