I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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