it hurts more in the daytime
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
