hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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