I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
