Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
