matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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