Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
