That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
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You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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