I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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