marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't put those talents on a resume
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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