I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We left the knife in your bed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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