It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
