just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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