found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
