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My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
