just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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